• A Year of Horror

• Episode 1 - Sally

[SFX: Rain, faint crying in the background][SFX: Ambient music fades in][SFX: Water is poured into a mug][SFX: Sliding door][SFX: Crying comes into focus]Alex [crying, gasping]: I didn’t…[Pause]Pat: Alex?[Pause]Pat: Alex.[Pause]Pat [firmly]: Alex.Alex: Pat.Pat: Where have you been? None of us have heard from you in months, you dropped off the face of the bloody earth, [stammers], Alex, and now you show up here. What happened?[Pause]Alex [quietly]: Sally.Pat: Excuse me?Alex [louder]: Sally.Pat: Who?Alex: Sally.Pat: O-Okay…Who?Alex: Like, O-Olivia’s…Pat: Oh! Right, yes. I think I did meet…it, once.Alex: Her.Pat: What?Alex: N-Nothing.Pat: What does that…thing have to do with, well, whatever happened to you?[Pause]Pat: Listen, Alex, I can’t help you unless-Alex [cutting in]: I didn’t ask for your help.Pat: Then why are you here?Alex: I thought you’d be happy. To see me.Pat: N-No, of course I’m happy.[Pause]Alex: I’m… sorry, I-I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t be here.Pat: It’s…it’s fine. You can stay the night, as long as you need.Alex: I-I would bother someone else, but I don’t… [sigh] I don’t have anywhere to go.Pat: It’s fine.Alex: Thank you.Pat: But please Alex, if-if you’re staying, I need you to tell me what’s going on. If you’re in trouble…Alex: It’s not…that.Pat: Then what?[Pause]Alex: It started with Olivia. We, well, I mean, you know Olivia, I-I don’t know if you talked much, but…we-we first met her, you and I, at one of those, like, it must have been at one of the parties. Yeah, yeah, you were- I remember, Bertie’s house.[Pat groans]Alex: I remember because you were complaining about her.[Scene change: flashback, party][SFX: Faint rave music]Pat: I still can’t believe you have a friend called Beatrice.Alex: Bertie.Pat: All the same.Alex: That’s art students for you.Pat: I thought you were all meant to be…broke.Alex: Mostly.Pat: So what the hell is Beatrice’s deal?Alex: Trust fund baby, I guess. Point is, she has a huge house.Pat: I can’t believe you dragged me to a house party. How old are you?Alex: What’s that meant to mean? I’ll have you know this is a very sophisticated affair.Pat [sarcastically]: Oh joy.Alex: And, there’ll be lots to drink.Pat [even more sarcastically]: Oh joy. Hold on, are we just here because you’re too broke to get wasted anywhere else?Alex: Don’t be ridiculous, Pat. Like I said, this is gonna be a very sophisticated do.[SFX: Door opens, rave music gets louder]Pat: Is that man-Alex: Oh…wow.Pat: That’s certainly…Alex: Avant garde.[SFX: Rave music gets quieter again, but still audible]Alex: Yeah…[Pause]Alex: Bingo.Pat: Hm?Alex [sing-song]: Buffet!Pat: Hey, you can’t just leave me.Alex: Keep up then![Pause]Pat: Cheese and pineapple have no right to be that close together.Alex: It’s all yellow.Pat: Wow, I can tell you’ve been studying your colour theory.Alex: Shut up and eat, it’s really good.[Pause]Pat: Holy shit, is that Tanner?Alex: And you made fun of Bertie!?Pat: Hey Tanner!Alex: Oi, who’s leaving who now!?[Pause]Alex: Ugh, more food for me I guess.[Pause]Olivia: I see you’re enjoying the buffet.Alex [flustered]: Oh, uh, sure, I just- oh, um…hello, I'm, uh…Alex [mock fanciness]: Alexandria.Olivia: Olivia, I’m in the same class as you!Alex [stammering]: Oh, yeah, I mean, big class, but you, uh, you were hard to ignore.Olivia [imitating Alex’s mock fanciness]: Is that so, Alexandria?[Pause]Olivia: Pineapple and cheese, a doomed pairing.Alex: I know, right? I’m like, always saying this.Olivia: Oh?Alex: Well, maybe not always, but, when it comes up.Olivia [laughing]: Sure.[Scene change: present day, Pat’s house][SFX: Rave music fades out, rain and ambient music fade in]Pat: Right…Alex: Wasn’t really…the pineapple…[sigh] Point is, that night she took me back to her place and I…stayed the night.Pat [gets it]: Oh.Alex: But it was weird. She must’ve been from something of an affluent family, not that her flat was big or anything, but she had…stuff. Theatre masks, evil eyes, marionettes that were from Prague, apparently. But, among it all, she stood out.Pat: O-Olivia?Alex: No, she was beautiful of course, but she was nothing special. A product of her milieu. However apparently unique the result, she was tainted. No, no, it was Sally that stood out to me. She was so small and delicate sitting there on top of that bureau of hers. It didn’t- I didn’t really notice her, until I suppose I’d spent some time with our dear Olivia.Pat: I see.[Alex clears her throat]Alex: Um, but once I saw her, I couldn’t stop seeing her, that delicate, porcelain figure. I decided she was wonderful at once. But there was something…uncanny to her beauty, something I couldn’t quite place. I think it took me the better part of a night to realise that her head was missing…th-the doll, I mean.Pat: Yeah, I’d hope.Alex: Well I-I just thought I’d ought to clarify.Pat: Thank you.Alex: I asked her, Olivia, about her.[SFX: Rain and ambient music fade out][Scene change: flashback, Olivia’s flat.][SFX: Piano track - Beethoven's 'Für Elise' playing faintly in the background]Alex: So what’s the deal with the doll?[SFX: Wooden creak]Olivia: Hm? Oh, her, that’s Sally.Alex: She’s cute.Olivia: Bit creepy, but I like to have her out to see what people think.Alex: I like her, she’s…charming.Olivia [laughing]: Yeah, real expressive.[Alex chuckles][Scene change: present day, Pat’s house][SFX: Piano track fades out, rain and ambient music fade in]Alex: I left, of course, the next morning. But that was not the last time I saw Olivia, not the last time I saw…Sally.Pat: Alex.Alex: Mm, yes well, Olivia became something of an addiction. I could only go a few days before returning to that esoteric, cluttered apartment. When I wasn’t at the apartment I was dreaming of it, longing for it. A deep pit had opened inside me, and only that place seemed to fill it. Olivia never complained. We enjoyed each other’s company very much, but I don’t think it was that dark-haired, tin-voiced woman that I returned for, time after time, though she was very lovely. No, something else drew me there, time and again, no, something else drew me there, something else sated the hunger of that pit.Pat: Sally?Alex: Yes. When I visited, I would wait. Wait until Olivia fell asleep, and I, and I- I would- I would take Sally from her place on the bureau, and cradle her. Hum to her.[SFX: Rain and ambient music fades out][Scene change: flashback, Olivia’s flat][Alex humming no particular tune][SFX: Ambient music fades in][Alex continues humming][SFX: Rain fades in][Alex continues humming][Scene change: present day, Pat’s house.]Alex: It started offhandedly, almost jokingly, though I don’t know who the joke could possibly have been intended for, but it became ritualistic. She became something sacred, something delicate and beautiful. From the lilac and gold jester’s outfit protruded perfect porcelain arms, ending in fused, elegant fingers. There was a ruff securely attached tight around her neck. Everything about her was…perfect. She was something to protect with every fibre of my body. And in repayment, she brought me joy. I hid this habit from Olivia, sneaking Sally naught but furtive glances during Olivia’s waking hours. I didn’t want her intruding on our dynamic, corrupting our ritual. She would’ve been a renegade pigment, a stray tone, what your lot would call an ‘unwanted variable’.[Pause]Alex: It didn’t matter why I was there. My relationship with Olivia blossomed. I never officially moved in but I spent most nights at her apartment. My ritual of cradling Sally became a nightly affair. Olivia did wake, once, months in. She saw us.[Scene change: flashback, Olivia’s flat][SFX: Bed sheets rustling][Alex humming ‘Rock-a-bye baby’][SFX: Ambient music fades in][Alex continues humming][SFX: Bell tolling][Alex continues humming]Alex [quietly]: Don’t cry, my sweet.Olivia [blearily]: Alex?[SFX: Ambient music cuts out]Alex [to Pat]: I froze. I thought if I just didn't move, she’d go back to sleep. Despite my stillness, I knew somehow that sharp gaze had found me in the dark, cast harsh light on this black worship. I didn’t look at her, but I saw her eyes judging my love. They were sharp, blue things hanging around me, so much like the evil eyes she bought from Greece.Olivia: Sweetheart, what are you…Alex: Shh…[Olivia groans]Alex: Just, go back to sleep.Olivia: Mm, okay…[SFX: Rain cuts out, ambient music cuts in]Alex: I stayed there, silently, until dawn, fearful of the judgement of the woman in my bed. She didn’t bring it up the next day. In fact, she never mentioned it. ‘Maybe she’d forgotten!’ I’d thought, hoped. But I couldn’t help but notice that she would more often hide Sally under piles of clothes, hide her from me. And when she was allowed out, when I freed her, Olivia looked at her with a definite jealousy. She didn’t want me to play with her doll, she didn't want me to care for Sally as I cared for her. It didn’t matter, [sigh] not for a long while, but, [sigh]. With me staying most nights, Olivia decided it was best to invest in a…bigger bed. Something more comfortable for both of us. It was a good idea, I-I guess. I helped her set it up, carried the flat pack boxes up the stairs and into the flat. She took me to the bedroom, carried the flat pack boxes up the stairs and into the apartment. She took me to the bedroom, our bedroom, but it felt…off. Something was definitely wrong, distinctly empty. The bed was gone, yes, of course, but the cavity was larger than that. A gaping chasm. I felt sick at the absence of that which always brought me back, the absence of her.Pat: Withdrawal?Alex: Yes…[Beat]Alex: No… no, not quite, something…else. Everything…lost its luster. The world went so grey, and after that I don’t think it ever changed back.[SFX: Ambient music fades out][Scene change: flashback, Olivia’s flat.[SFX: Faint drumming in the background][Olivia humming ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears]Olivia [sing-song]: Alex?Alex [stern]: Where’s the bureau?Olivia: Got rid of it for space, donated it to a charity shop.Alex: What else did you donate?Olivia: Oh, I don’t know, most of the stuff in the bureau. My old DS, some tacky jewellery-Alex [cutting in]: Sally?[Pause]Alex: Olivia, did you give Sally away?Olivia: Oh, well, I would’ve, but no one would take her. Why?Alex: Where is she?Olivia: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you…cared.Alex [growing angry]: Olivia, what did you do?Olivia: I-I put some junk in boxes, some of them are still here.Alex: Where?Olivia: The kitchen?Alex [urgently]: And the rest?Olivia: I-Alex [loudly]: The rest?Olivia [yelling]: Stop yelling!Alex: What did you do?Olivia: I took them to the tip.[SFX: Running]Olivia: Alex! Alex! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you cared about that stupid doll.[SFX: Alex rifling through boxes]Alex: Oh, didn’t you!?Olivia: No!?Alex: Whatever.Olivia: I didn’t.Alex: Oh really? Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you treated her since you saw us.Olivia: What are you even on about?Alex: Don’t even try.Olivia: Alex![Pause]Olivia: Fine! Look for your fucking doll and keep her![SFX: Running][SFX: Door slam][Alex finds Sally]Alex: There you are! There you are sweetheart, come here, come, come here.Alex [crying quietly]: Come here, it’s so good to see you, I thought I’d lost you. [crying] Sweet thing, I thought I’d lost you.[Scene change: present day, Pat’s house.][SFX continues]Alex: So I took her home. Olivia didn’t call, she didn’t text, nothing. That stung. I mean, we hadn’t been dating for that long, but I mean, I thought she’d understand. [sigh] But, she hadn’t. Of course not. Her vision was clouded by envy. I pushed down the pain, it didn’t matter. Sally was safe. I’d saved her. To think Olivia would’ve sent her to her death.[Alex takes a shaky breath]Pat: Do you want to take a break?Alex: No, no, no, it’s fine, I just…more tea, please.Pat: Sure. Do you want something to eat?Alex: Just tea.Pat: You sure?Alex: Yes.Pat: I’m- [sigh] not to sound like my mother, but you look…thin.Alex: I guess I’ve been…busy.Pat: Too busy to eat?Alex: Not much. I don’t really have the money for food.[SFX: Water is poured into a mug]Pat: Okay, here’s your tea. And some biscuits, just in case. If you want something more substantial, I probably have pasta-Alex [cutting in]: I’m fine, really.[Beat]Alex: Thank you for the tea.[Pause]Alex: And so life continued. No more did I long for the hours spent at Olivia’s apartment, I needn’t visit her to see Sally anymore. But it did get increasingly hard being away from my own home, where Sally had come to abide. I rushed home from every class and shift to see her, to make sure she was there, safe, sound. And without the evil eyes of Olivia, I needn’t hide my adoration of my Sally. I cradled her often, swooning over her, treasuring her. This blessing overtook my life. I tried at first to balance work, uni, her, but it was so hard. She demanded my attention, not that I minded. [sigh] I only wished I could carry her forever, let her melt restfully into me, where she could curl up into my stomach where I could know she was safe.[Pause]Alex: Work w-was going well, though. I never went out for drinks with my coworkers or anything, but that didn’t matter. My work ethic was good and customers were satisfied. When it came to university, however, I was falling behind. I was hardly a straight-A student like Olivia, but I was good. Hell, I am good…I think. I just- I didn’t have the time. I was falling behind and my dreams were slipping away. That scared me. Even then, I tried, I really tried, and I did, after some particularly harsh words from one professor, get back on track. That’s when she started to cry, Sally. Yeah.[Alex clears her throat]Alex: Um, one day I-I was… [stammers] one day, I was typing up a piece on Kay Sage. I'd stayed up deep into the night looking at her strange, unsettling works, so I thought I must be hallucinating when I heard that first spluttering cry. But it didn't stop, transforming into an ungainly wail. Despite my assertions that I must be hearing things, the desperate tone worried me. I searched through my flat for the source of the noise as those howling notes plucked at my heartstrings.[Pause]I searched through my flat for the source of the noise as those howling notes plucked at my heartstrings. I found her soon enough. She was still, of course, but that horse cry resounded from a deep place within her. I was thrilled, through my sleepless delirium I cried tears of joy, she was crying! I had begun to worry, to lose faith in her, but she cried! So overjoyed was I by this, her first true expression, that I quite forgot myself. When I eventually came down, I wasn't quite sure what I was meant to do. I…tried to calm her. I cooed.[Scene change: flashback, Alex’s flat.][SFX: Rain and ambient music fade out, baby crying]Alex: It's okay sweetcake, it's okay sweetcake, shh, no need to cry. You're safe, nothing can hurt you, shh now, shh.Alex [to Pat]: I sang.Alex [singing]: Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.[SFX: Sally continues wailing]Alex: Fair. That wouldn't soothe me either, Sal.Alex [to Pat]: And I begged.[SFX: Rain and ambient music fade in]Alex: Ugh, Sally, please, please sweetheart, just stop crying. I don't know what you want, just please let me sleep.[Scene change: present day, Pat's house]Alex: But nothing I said made a difference. She didn't understand what I was trying to say, she was a baby.[SFX: Ambient music gets louder]

Alex: And what do babies want? Well, I thought…food. Thing is, I wasn't equipped to feed her, not like a normal mother. But I found a near-empty bottle of milk in the fridge and poured her a cup. Then I realised that she…well, didn't have a mouth. She was, you know, headless. I panicked and, um, well, I- she still had a neck, and a hole in that neck, so I…poured the milk inside her.Pat: Did she…stop?Alex: Well, yes-[SFX: Baby crying cuts out]Alex: -but, the next day I came home from work and she was crying again. So I did the same thing. And again. And again. And it became just another habit. But, the more I fed her, the more it took to make her shut up.[Pause, Alex takes a breath to compose herself]Alex: Eventually, the milk wasn't enough. I was getting ready for my shift and she just started screaming.[SFX: Baby crying starts again]Alex: I tried pouring milk down her neck, it didn't work. I poured more, still she wailed. I must’ve poured an entire carton into her body, until her gullet bubbled and spilled over. She kept screaming. Even through the cold liquid that overflowed her. I shook her violently. I-I know you're not- you're not meant to do that, but she didn't stop. And so I kept shaking her and screaming, fingers gripped that jagged stump neck-[SFX: Baby crying cuts out]Alex: -and there was pain, blood, and then it all went black. One of my neighbours found me, passed out in a pool of milk and bleeding, gripping Sally. When they woke me up, my first thought was that I'd killed my baby. I'd shaken her too much, o-or her tiny body had broken on impact. She wasn't crying anymore. I muttered a dismissive excuse and apology to the neighbour and soon enough they, and some other nosy folk, returned to their rooms. I cradled Sally in my arms, praying for the sound of her wail. I realised by that point that I'd missed the better part of my shift. I didn't care, I didn't try and fix it, it didn't matter. Not in that long silence. I sat there for days, ignoring emails, dismissing officers investigating missing reports, forgetting to eat. I must've been fired, I-I guess I never checked, I just…stopped going.Pat: Jesus Christ, Alex, I don't know what to say, I-Alex [cutting in]: Don't. Sh-she made it, [sigh] after nearly a week of drifting in and out of wakefulness I heard that cry once more.Pat: Oh god.[SFX: Baby crying]Alex: It was good to hear her, and then, all too quickly…it wasn't. So I did what I always did. I fed her. And I took what I'd learnt through my fall, I mixed in a little blood with her milk.[SFX: Baby crying cuts out]Alex: And she slept, and I worried, and she woke, and I bled, and she slept, and I worried, and she woke, and I bled…Pat: Alex! Alex, I'm really worried. D-do you need to see someone?Alex: Shh, shh, shh, shush, shush, let me finish.Pat: If you agree to see someone.Alex: Fine.Pat: Okay. Go on.Alex: Well, nothing changed, the cycle went on, this delirious motherhood, I left rarely and fleetingly to claim milk and food from a local food bank. Out there I found it easy to smile, to make polite conversation, to be okay, normal, even. And then, I'd turn and fester in this loving, parasitic cycle. This went on for an eternity only broken by greed. My landlord came to call. I'd missed a payment, or two. A-and he was unhappy. I turned him away politely and I promised to pay, but I didn't-[SFX: Rain stops]Alex: -and he came again. Knock, knock, knock, he rapped on the door, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. ‘He'll wake my Sally’ I thought, but she did not stir, fat and content on my sacrifice. Knock, knock, knock. So I just ignored it. He used his keys in the end, crept into my apartment as I lazed, uncomprehending. He smelt the rot of sloth and knew my apathy. He stood in the doorway to the living slash makeshift feeding room. An angry blotch that watched me furiously as I festered on the sofa.[Scene change: flashback, Alex’s flat.][SFX: Flies buzzing]Landlord: Get up.Alex: H-hello?Landlord: Get up Alex, you're leaving.Alex [drowsy, confused]: No, I'm not…Landlord: Yes you are, this place stinks. If you've done any permanent damage…Alex: It's fine, I'll pay you later.Landlord: That's what you've said the last two months.Alex: Has it been that long…?Landlord: You've stretched my kindness, now get out of my bloody flat.[SFX: Sally shattering]Alex [panicking]: No, no no no, no no no no this isn't right, this, Sally, Sally, sweetheart please, no no no, it's okay, it's okay, come on sweetie, rock-a-bye baby, on the tree…top…when the wind blows, the…please, no no no no, ple-please, sweetheart please…Alex [to Pat]: She fell. Hard. Harder than we fell together, and without my body to cushion the impact, she…she shattered.[SFX: Rain fades in]Alex [getting increasingly upset]: Every bit of her splintered apart into solid, cutting shapes. Her clothes were still intact but all the rest of her was something else. The fall had filled a soft body with angles, made a sweet, fleshy blessing into something broken and disconnected. Rubble. She was human, she was something that drank, something that drank and fed, she was real, and then…all at once, she wasn't.Pat: But, Alex, she…she wasn't real.Alex: I know that, of course I know that, but do you know what it is to mourn something that never really was? How could I have come to love her when there was nothing there to love? How can I possibly grieve knowing there never was anything to grieve?[SFX: Bell tolling][Alex cries]Pat: Oh, oh Alex…Alex: I meandered. Alone. For days. I slept, alone. I didn't eat, I didn't beg, I don't want anything more. If she was never real then why do I bleed…what is the purpose of my heartbeat? I've been killing myself without purpose for so long, why stop now?[Alex cries]Alex [crying]: I didn't want this…I didn't want any of this…but I loved her…I loved her even if she never was…I loved her…[SFX: All background noises cut abruptly.[End of episode]"That was: ‘Sally’. We hope you enjoyed the first of what is to become a twelve part series called ‘A Year in Horror’, a new horror short story each month in podcast form. We look forward to seeing you.‘Sally’ was written by: me!
Directed by: me!
And edited by: Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus.
Pat was played by: Alice Crowley.
Alexandria, sorry, [mock fanciness] Alexandria, [normally] was played by: me!
Cover art created by: Alice Crowley."